Cell Dotter and the Sorcerer's Diamond V 20
by imperfectperfectionist
Summary: What would happen if Cell from DBZ was an alien child and not evil? What would happen if he played Harry Potter? What if Dumbledore was hyper and Hermione was a boy and Ron was a girl with rainbow hair. What if Voldie was a rapper? Madness I tell you!
1. Prolouge

Disclaimer:I do not own DBZ or Harry Potter.   
  
This is my first story on Fanfiction.net. Flames are allowed after all it's your opinion. Flames can also help me improve on my writing. This story is the second version of my original one. Cell is an alien in my story. Cell also is good.  
  
It was dark and rainy night. Cell's parents , John and Liol, were asleep. Unsespecting to them an evil force would come to there green spaceship,that was giant, and had multiple dents in it from differen magical duels. They heard Cell crying loudly and frightened so they dashed in a hurry towards Cell's green room. They saw broken glass. Voldie, there worst nightmare was staring at Cell. Voldie was the evilest and lamest wizard of the all wizards in the world! Voldie then raised his wand and yelled loudly the dreaded spell,"Weird spell thing spell!!!!" a wierd dreaded spell indeed but it still was a deadly spell. Liol screamed, "No!!!!"in slow motion and jumped in front of Cell trying to make it dramatic. John walked towards Liol. "Tell Cell I loved him," Liol said.  
  
Liol then died dramatically and that was her sole mission when she was dieing. John yelled angrily,"No!!! Wait I get the whole bed room! But I have to redeem her! Voldie you'll pay with your life!" John ran toward Voldie and ran right into a fist and died. Ouch! Voldie yelled evilly,"I defeated that little sissy dawg! I'm a sissy and the sissy beat John. What a loser like word! Wait who am I talking to anyway? Oh well! Time to kill the sissy little kid!" Cell started screaming frightened screams loudly in an annoying voice. Voldie held his ears in agony. "Your a sissy dawg you sissy crybaby! Wait you are a baby! Oh well you stupid idiotic baby!"  
  
Voldie was about to raise his wand until Cell bit his leg! Voldie started screaming loudly "You're no ordinary baby you are a crazy, evil, leg biting baby! Sissy dawg you shall die like word because I have a list and lists are nice! I also love him and his name is Little L!" Voldie raised his wand and was about to shoot out an evil and strong spell until Cell started screaming for five long days . Voldie held his ears in pain. "I'm almost deaf and I'm behind my nice schedule! We will meet again Cell Rotter Dotter and then you will die! I'm sorry I kept you waiting my little schedule! I'm so sorry! Will you ever forgive me? You will! Thanks! I promise I won't keep you waiting Little L I love you" Voldie started rubbing his schedule and left. But went Voldie left a pink, yellowish, small bird ate Voldie's list! Voldie yelled in sadness,"No!!!!!!!!!! Little L!!!!!!!!! I have to find a new friend!" Voldie started to cry in sadness and left on his broomstick known as the The Rocket 1992 in a flash. Wow that's fast!


	2. The amzing barfing bird, Santa Claus let...

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or DBZ. But I do own his last name I made up! Please review! I feel haten when I get no reviews! sob! Just kidding It's your choice I'm a people person!  
  
Cell Dotter was sleeping quietly on his green bed with dots and a green blanket that was said Cell on it. Well actually he was snoring as loud as anyone had ever snored! He woke up scared because he heard the sound of wings. He thought, "What if it's a butterfly! I'm so scared of butterflies! What if it's a pink butterfly! That's even worse! I'll drop dead! Help me!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cell then said,"Wait I hear a hooting noise thing! Some people these days are so stupid and disrespect everyone's bloody sleep!" Cell opened his window with such force that it broke. Cell stepped on a tiny peice of glass. "Ow I have a booboo! What is wrong with you people it's seven p.m. people need some bloody sleep for crying out loud! It's the year 2003 not the future were they may have some future tech umm how do do you say it? Ohh technology! So be quiet!  
  
An owl was flying right toward Cell's green spaceship. Cell said, "I spy with my little eye a noisy owl!" The owl then crashed right into his spaceship leaving a big dent. "No I just got rid of the multiple dents on the spaceship!" You look at the ship and it has multiple dents.  
  
The owl fled inside feeling ill. The owl barfed on Cell. Cell started screaming in horror, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uh-uh- man I'm tired! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm Blind I can't see you evil barf bird!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"The barf then started going in Cell's mouth!! Cell then vomited all over the bird! The vomit went in the bird's mouth and the bird vomited on Cell! Then so on and so on! This continued for five long, discusting, sicking, scary, and creepy days! "That's it this has gone far enough! I hate you so I'm kicking you!! Bye bye!!" Cell kicked the bird. A letter fell out of his leg.  
  
The bird landed on some random person I do no not know's head! (He's a random person I do know. For real he is!! You don't believe me ! This means war young warrior! Oh sorry!) Man I feel really bad for that guy he has found the rarest owl in the world known as, The Barfing Owl! The owl then barfed all over him! I'm starting to feel sick too! The guy then barfed on the owl! A long, sickening, boring, barfing week pased until the owl started chasing the poor guy! Oh well at least it's not me!  
  
Back to Cell. Cell teared up the letter happily. Cell said hopefully, "I hope it's from Santa Claus! I mean he probally is going to give me a great present for giving him expired milk and bitten and licked cookies!" Cell started giggling like a little school girl! "Wait there are two letters!! Which one should I open first? He looked at the first letter. It said from Hoggywartsy school of witchcraft and wizadry in golden print. Then Cell looked at the second letter. Sure it said Santa Claus but it was in blood red writing! "I'll open the Santa Clause's letter first I bet he will give me a great present!" The letter said this  
  
Dear Cell Dotter,  
  
I hate you for life Cell! You know why it's because you made me sick. The rason why is because you gave me your stupid expired milk and half bitten and licked cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a lot of people on my side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to sue you so bad that you go bankrupt!!!!!!!!!! I'm getting my people to talk to your people and then you'll pay with your money!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes your money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Expect a call from my lawyers Cell. Ohhh and Cell no more presents for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The only presents I'm ever going to give you are very dangerous things! That's right!!!!! Boom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sincerly,  
  
Santa Claus  
  
"Cool I get presents!" Cell said. Cell then asked himself should I open the other letter! I guess I will!" Cell read the letter out loud. "You have been accepted to attend Hoggywartsy school of witchcraft and wizardy blah blah blah blah this is a peice of junk!" Cell threw away his letter. Everyday letters kept coming but Cell did not go! After about two long weeks someone came and kicked Cell's door so hard the door go knocked over. "No!! It probally is some evil dude that's trying to noogie me!! Cell then kicked some tall guy's knee with as much force as he could and that was an ant's touch! "Oh sorry!" Cell said embaressed! "Okay" the tall guy said.Cell asked, " Well why are you here tall guy!" The tall guy asked " How did you know my name?" Cell then replied "Ummmm!!!!!!!!! Lucky guess!" "Okay now Cell you have to go to Hoggywartsy okay! Cell then yelled, " No I'm not!!!!!!!" Tallguy the yelled in frustration,"Yes you are!!" "No I'm not!!!!!! "Yes you are" "No I'm not" "Yes you are" "No I'm eh-he-eh not!" "Yes you eh-he-eh are!" "No I'm eh-he-eh not!!" They yelled at each other like this for one stupid, loud, angry week!  
  
Tallguy then started getting really impatient with Cell so he decided to take him by force. That's always bad! Tallguy then yelled with much anger,"I've had enough of this!" Tallguy ran to Cell really fast and yelled,"Your coming with me!" Cell started throwing a large tantrum and whined, "I don't want to go!" Tallguy started dragging Cell out of the spaceship. But Cell was hanging on to the spaceship's broken door. Tallguy was grabbed Cell but Cell kicked his private! Ouch!! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! You'll pay for that Cell!" Tallgguy kicked Cell's private! Double Ouch!   
  
Tallguy then said,"Cell I have to tell you something really important! You're a witch!" Cell then screamed screamed "Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!! Oh no I must be turing into a girl! Are not I supposed to be a wizard?!" "Work on your grammer kid and you're a wizard not a witch!" "Cool" Cell said happily. "We have to go to Diagoly Alley Cell, so we can get your wizard stuff. But first to get there we have to jump in there!" Tallguy pointed to the sink. They both jumped in and were off to Diagoly Alley!


	3. Who is the root of all evil and The Day ...

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or Harry Potter. I also do not own Dora the Explora, Seaseme Street, Barney, or Teletubies.  
  
Cell and Tallguy fell out and landed one the cold, hard, bare ground with a bang like this. BANG!!!!!!!!!!! Cell was amazed by Diagoly Alley. He started running around giggling like a little kid. He started pointing at various things and said,"I want this and this and this and this!!!!" Tallguy shaked his head in disproval and said,"Cell first we have to get wizard money! Okay?" he said in a heroic voice. Cell then started yelling," We are you're heroes all you wizards and witches out there! We are in the Justice League of Superheros that are witches and wizards! We shall destroy are arch enemy, Butterfly Man! DU-DU-DUN!!" Some random boy said,"Freaks!!" He kicked Cell's knee. Cell then said,'owee I have a booboo!! YOU evil boy! You want our attentsion that's right! Since we are the strongest superheros in this universe you want to grab our attention now don't you! Well you are now an arch emeny Jack!"  
  
The kid then yelled "My name is not Jack!" Cell then asked mysteriously, "Then what is your name Jack!" The kid said,"My name is Jack!" Cell then said,"Oh you're right your name isen't Jack your name is Jack!" Tallguy then dragged Cell away and said embaresed and yelled at Cell,"Your bringing attenion!" Cell started arguing," Wait I have to straiten that Evil Jack! He's messing with the man!" Tallguy said "Oh please!"  
  
Tallguy then told Cell that Grinningotts was were he had to get his money. Tallguy showed him the creepy picture of a goblin on a wall. He was grinning. Cell screamed "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! He's staring at me with those creppy pink eyes!!" Cell started running around screaming, "AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Scary creepy pink eyed goblin!" Tallguy caught Cell and told him the goblin left.Cell was releaved.  
  
"Okay Cell this is how wizard money works. A cracker equals one cent. A nut equals five dollars. Then a lonny dead bird equals fifty dollars! Alright!!" Cell than replied, " Sure!"  
  
Tallguy then started giving a goblin that worked at the Grinningotts a little black bag. Cell asked, "What's in there Tallguy?!" Tallguy then replied nervously, "It'snotaspecialdiamondthatmadeasorcererlivelongerthatthedarklordVoldieislookingfortomakehimselfimortalthatDumbydorrymademenottellanyoneaboutand  
  
toldmetohideitsothereandIshouldofnottoldyouthat!" Cell then said,"Oh it's just a special diamond that made a sorcerer live longer that the dark lord Voldie is looking for. And that he is looking for it so he can become immortal and Dumbydorry told you not to tell anyone. He also told you to hide it. And you also said that you should of not told me that!"  
  
Tallguy started sweating like crazy and yelled,"Cell you were hearing wrong you are going to die I guess!" Cell started scraming "No I'M GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tallguy started getting annoyed because of Cell and yelled,"Shutup you lunatic you are not going to die!" Cell said"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" and completely forgot about that special diamond! How sad! Cell and Tallguy got on on a cart that was carried by a giant cat. When they made it to Cell's small vault the giant cat got squished! Poor cat! Ah I don't care I never liked cats anyway! "Um Tallguy who much do you actually weight!?" Tallguy then said," One thousand and five hundred pounds."  
  
Cell took a giant step away for him. Tall guy tried to open Cell's vault.  
  
Five hours later. Tallguy started screaming,"You are an evil vault!! Open Seaseme Street!" Cell then asked "Aren't you suppose to say Open Seasame! Not Open Seaseame Street! But there is nothing wrong with that because I love watching it! My three favorite characters are Elmo, Big Bird, and Cookie Moster! I'm Cookie Monster! Um cookies!! Cell started chasing a guy in a cookie suit! The guy in the cookie suit started running around screaming, "What's wrong with you freaky freak of freaky freakyness cookie freaks of all freaks that is so freaky that you freakier freaks in this freakin world in this freaky galaxy in this fraekist universe of all freaky universes!!"  
  
"You make Cookie monster angry!" The cookie suit dude yelled at the top of his lungs, " i DON'T CARE IF YOUR ANGRY!! WELL ACTUALLY I WISH YOU DIED!!" Cell then started biting the cookie suit dude! He yelled," Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
In the background you can see Cell chasing that cookie suit dude! Tallguy told some little grey goblin dude,"I think Seaseme Street is evil but I believe Barney is the root of all evil!! He's so creepy!! No one can always be so happy!! He probally is a pshycotic murder in discuise! Or du-du-dun you!!" The little goblin replied,"I hate Barney and the root of all evil is du-du-dun Teletubies!! There freaky! The vaccum talks!!" Then another little goblin yelled, "Dora the Explora is the root of all evil!! She's such an idiot!! I even created a story of when Dora died! Anyone want here it!" The other Goblin and Tallguy yelled"We do!"  
  
Cell yelled with a half of a cookie in his mouth," I want to hear too!!" The half bitten cookie dude yelled " Me three!!" Cell and the cookie guy rushed over to the group. The story telling goblin guy said," Get in a cirlce kiddies it's story time!" Cell started giggling like a little school girl and said,"Yah it's story time, story time, story time!!!" The storyteller said,"Be quiet or else you will get a time out young sissy kiddy!" The other goblin said "Yah or else I will tell my mommy!" Cell then said," Cell don't want a timeout!" "Then shut up" Tallguy yelled. Oh my gosh he said shut up!  
  
Cell then said in awe,"Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!You said a bad word! I'm telling my mommy!!" The storyteller told Tallguy "Those words aren't aprroraite don't use them unless you want a timeout!" "Okay" Cell then yelled,"Yah you meanie" Tallguy started cryng,"Wahhhhhhh!!! I'm telling mommy!!" Cell then said, "I'm sorry" "Okay" Tallguy sniffed. Ohh there getting along!  
  
The other goblin asked,"What happened to storytime!" Cell then yelled,"Yah!  
  
The storyteller then told the story,"Dora said how many bridges do I need to cross this volcano. The crowd then said none!!Dora then said Okay I hope your right!! Dora walks into the volcano and screams Whoooooooaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! What the beep is wrong with you beepin people!!That was the story of when Dora the Explora died!"  
  
Cell then yelled indagantly," I like Dora you guys are mean to her!" Everyone was busy laughing so much that no one had even heard Cell!! 


	4. Fight of the Century, first part of shop...

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or Harry Potter. Man it's 11:10 p.m.! I'm working consistently to update! I just want the best for my story and for all you good people out there. But I will probally download my chapter later. Okay here's the chapter! Hope you enjoy it! LOL!  
  
Cell decided to join in and started to laugh like crazy! Everyone was just straring at him like he was some sort of crazy guy! "Um earth to Cell it's not funny anymore!" Tallguy said. It was no use Cell was still laughing maniacally!" Tallguy then yelled in Cell's ears,"Stop laughing like a crazy lunatic you luntaic!" It still was absouloutly no use and Cell was laughing even louder! Tallguy just decided to kick Cell in the crotch! Cell stopped laughing and slowly fell down face first on the cold hard ground. Tallguy became really annoyed so he decided to shoo everyone out of the room. Then he yelled at Cell," Wake up!!" Cell instantly got up from his slumber rubbing his green eyelids with his green hands. Is he some sort of green freak? "What's all the racket? I'm niney-three you know sonny boy!" Tallguy replied,"Oh please your only eleven your no were around that age you old fossil!" Cell then yelled in fasanation,"I'm young again! Woohoo!" "You always were young!" Cell replied back,"See I told you!"  
  
"Cell we have to open up you vault so we can get your wizard money and buy the items you need for Hoggywartsy! Alright?" Cell yelled,"Sure!" Tallguy tried to open Cell's vault again and it finally worked after millions of tries! Tallguy and Cell looked inside and just found a small pack of money. Tallguy yelled astonished,"You're poorer than the Weasels!" Cell yelled "Yah i'm the poorest wizard alive! That's so freaking cool!! Like i'm sure a lot of people will be super, mega, ultra jealous! Oha, oha, oha!!" "Your weird Cell! Why would anyone in the world be happy that they were poor! I repeat again that's plain weird!"  
  
Cell yelled," It's fun being poor and I'm not weird! You are! You are messing with the man that has the plan! I think you want to fight and I will name this fight the Fight of Century!" "So you're challenging me! Okay then bring it!" Tallguy kicked Cell's private! Cell started to do a sissy scream!  
  
Tallguy held his ears in agony! Tallguy jumped on Cell and Cell looked like a flat pancake! Ouch that had to hurt! Cell started crying and then sprinted towards Tallguy and punched his nose! Tallguy's nose started bleeding a little bit. Tallguy punched Cell threw a wall. A referee popped out of nowhere and started counting (When you are flat on your stomach or back the referee will start counting and if you don't get up by the count of ten you lose!) Cell got up at the count of eight.  
  
A goblin was yelling at both of them but neither Cell or Tallguy were actually listening. Cell and Tallguy were having a silent staredown. Tallguy became impatient and dashed towards Cell with a great amount of speed for a guy of his weight. This was exactly what Cell was waiting for! Right when Tallguy was a centimeter awy from Cell in one quick motion Cell spun around and farted in Tallguy's face! Tallguy started coughing and held his nose because of the awful smell! Tallguy fell down flat on his back.  
  
The referee started counting,"1....2.....3....4....5....6....7....8...9....10! You lose Cell wins!" The referee raised Cell's green arm high in the air!  
  
Cell was to busy gloating over his latest victory against Tallguy to notice Tallguy mummbling in anger,"Stupid Cell!" Tallguy got Cell's sack of wizard money and threw it at Cell. Cell catched and yelled,"Oha I won and you lost! Alright!" Cell started to do some weird dance! For real it was the weirdest dance I have ever seen in my entire life!  
  
Tallguy said,"Cell we need to buy your wizard stuff okay?" "Sure! I want to buy a cool magical broomstick!" Cell started to run around like crazy and Tallguy was making a huge effort just to keep up with him! Tallguy yelled while running,"Cell the first think we have to buy is your Potions and Lotions book one!" Cell looked for the Potions and Lotions store. When Cell found it he dashed over towards it. Tallguy followed Cell.  
  
Cell asked the store owner,"Do you have a Potions and Lotions book one?" "We sure do and call me Steve! Okay?" "Sure!" Tallguy was busy looking for a potion book that gave you more hair. But that's strange because he had a large amount of hair already! Does he want to be a gorrila or something? I believe he does!  
  
Cell started asking Tallguy,"What do we buy now, what do we buy now, what do we buy now?" Tall got annoyed and gave up searching for the book he really wanted. Tallguy sighed in defeat and said,"Your Herbology items!" Cell started dragging Tallguy towards another store that was known as The Herbology Store.  
  
Cell and Tallguy went inside and saw many diffrent types of plants and seeds. They saw an alien eater plant! It was known as the du-du-dun The Alien Eater Plant! Cell got freaked out and he ran out of the store with he plant closley behind him!  
  
Tallguy decided to look for Cell's Herbology items then look for Cell unless he was already eaten! Tallguy found the Herbology book and took to the cashier."Hi Crystal can I buy this book?" "Sure Tallguy ten crackers." "Okay" Tallguy gave her ten crackers and got his reciept.  
  
Tallguy started looking for Cell. Tallguy saw his good friend Someguy and walked towards him and asked,"Someguy have you seen Cell around here?" "Sure he ran towards there!" Someguy pointed to Dreaded Alley. "Oh no that place is dangerous!" Tallguy dashed towards Dreaded Alley. Tallguy was really worried and hoped nothing had happened to Cell.  
  
Tallguy sneaked over to the tall steel barrier that protected both of the sides. Tallguy climed over the barrier. He heard two evil wizards laughing evilly. Tallguy had the guts to go ask the wizards something,"Have you seen Cell Dotter running here?" he asked nervously. One of the wizards replied in hatred"Yes. And he is going to the Thing's territory! Yes he is going to die! Cell Dotter finally will die!" Tallguy was horrrified. The Thing would kill Cell. He had to do something. Tallguy heard may horrible stories about the Thing. Tallguy would make sure Cell would not die to the thing like all his other relatives did.  
  
Flashback  
  
Tallguy was just four when his mother was telling a story about his father and the Thing."Your father was a great man. He was strong and tall."his mother said. Tallguy was sipping his hot coca resting on his mother's lap listening to ever word. They lived a small cabin. Not to roomy but warm and comfortable. Tallguy's father had died when Tallguy was one year old. "Your father was also a great wizard. He helped out Dumbydorry when he needed to. One day he was working and he had an assignment. He had to fix a toilet in Diagoly Alley. But it was in the ugliest part of Diagoly Alley. It is now known as Dreaded Alley."  
  
Tallguy then asked in a way that only a four year old would ask,"What happened next?" His mother took a deep breath and continued the story,"Well when your father was there a giant thing came out of a hole. It was like a giant butterfly. The giant butterfly took your father and threw him threw a wall. Your father fought back but it was to strong and ate your poor father!"  
  
Tallguy's mother started crying. Tallguy couldn't stand his mother crying. It made him cry in sadness along with her. They weeped together mother and son but then there was a loud noise coming outside. His mother left the house. Tallguy soon followed after her."We'll take you to the Thing now!" an evil wizard yelled and grabbed Tallguy's mother. Tallguy tried to help his mother but another wizard grabbed Tallguy. Tallguy kept trying to get away but it was in vain.  
  
The two wizards flew off on there with his mother and him. Tallguy looked in horror as his mother was eaten by the giant butterfly. "Your next!" Luckily Tallguy escaped out of their grasp and ran for his life. The two wizards were eaten up by the furious butterfly.  
  
Tallguy was alone and raised himself for the rest of his life.  
  
End of flashback  
  
Tallguy said,"I will not let him die. Sure he may have a couple of screws loose but I won't let him die! He really is my one and only friend. Well besides Dumbydorry. Wait Dumydorry thinks everyone that's not evil is his friend so he doesn't count." Tallguy was sprinting foward until he was stopped by the same two wizards he talked to. One of the wizards said"You'll have to get through us before you can reach your little friend." "Yah" "Okay" Tallguy puched one of them with a right hook. Did I mention that Tallguy has a mean right hook. Tallguy kicked the other one in his private and got his wand and yelled,"Windyguardiam leviosay!" The wizard was high in the sky and fell down from the sky and landed on his head.  
  
Ouch! He was koed. Thre was one more wizard that Tallguy needed to handle. It turned into an all out brawl between the two. Tallguy puched the guy. By the way the guy's name is Punchme! Tallguy got puched by Puchme. Tallguy started to slightly bleed. Tallguy kicked punchme threw a store and jumped on him. Puchme was really flat! Tallguy decided just to have a magical duel.  
  
Tallguy yelled,"Orkulou!" a white beam of magic came from the tip of his wand. Puchme yelled"Okuokuroushi!" A black beam of magic came from Puchme's wand. Both of their hands were sweating. Tallguy's wand was about to slip! When it did the black beam was coming straight at him when another white beam of magic delfected it! Tallguy looked over to who saved him and it was Someguy! Someguy yelled,"Tallguy go find Cell I'll distract this evil dude. Tallguy nodded and ran foward.  
  
After a couple of minutes Tallguy found Cell laying on the floor. He slapped Cell's face. Cell woke up. Cell asked "Were am I?" "We are in Dreaded Alley. Hurry get up we we have to escape this horrible place! We don't want to be eaten by The Thing now do we?" Cell agreed. Tallguy and Cell were about to leave until they saw a whole army of evil wizards. "Oh crap!" Cell and Tallguy said. The Thing then went right were they were. "Oh double crap!" Tallguy and Cell were trapped!  
  
Well is it good? I hope it is! 


	5. War between Dreaded Alley and Diagoly Al...

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or Harry Potter. Oh and I don't own the move Shinku-Hadouken the Capcom company does.  
  
Cell started screaming like crazy after he saw The Thing,"Ahhh it's a giant butterfly! Worst of all it's pink!" Tallguy yelled at Cell,"Take out your wand!" Cell yelled angrily,"I don't have a wand!" Tallguy said,"Oh crap!"  
  
Someguy was trying to defeat Punchme but it's harder than it sounds you know!  
  
Someguy decided just to punch him. Someguy was about to punch him until Punchme yelled,"Disarmyton!" Someguy's wand left flying. Someguy was growing nervous. Someguy decided to run like crazy! Punchme was yelling many spells but Someguy dodged the spells like the Matrix! Cool! Someguy saw an army of evil wizards and Tallguy and Cell cornered by them and The Thing!  
  
Cell saw a evil wizard sprinting towards him. Even though Cell was terrified Cell yelled"Take this!" and at the right second Cell farted in the evil wizards face! The wizard yelled"Ahhh! My eyes my ugly evil eyes!" The wizard opened his eyes and saw a reflection of himself and instead of evil and ugly eyes he had beutiful eyes! He yelled in horror"Noooo!!! Why do my eyes have to be beautiful! Why can't they be ugly! Why!!" A evil witch yelled," You destroyed my husband's ugly eyes! Why!! Screw and then you!!" All the evil wizards were running to Tallguy and Cell except the back ones because Someguy was taking care of them.  
  
All the Thing was doing was watching in amusement as the war broke out. Cell and Tallguy went underneath a wizard's legs. Tallguy and Cell told Someguy to run for it.  
  
The Thing then took off for after them and the other wizards did the same.  
  
Cell yelled,"The metal door! Close it!" The Thing just rammed it's head through it and the war between Diago Alley and Dreaded Alley had broke out!  
  
Cell got seperated from Tallguy and Someguy. Cell saw buildings colasped because of the vicious war. Cell started running to hide but a evil wizard was running right towards him. It looked like Punchme! Cell punched him then kicked him hard in his private!! Ouch! He yelled "Ahhhhhh I hate private kickers! Let's see how you fell when you get kicked there!" He kicked Cell in his private and Cell screamed in agony," Mommy he kicked my private and it hurts!! Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!" Punchme muttered "Crybaby"  
  
Cell yelled angrily,"I'm not a crybaby!" "Oh yes you are!" "Prove it you lieing person that accuses me of beging a crybaby!" "Fine!" "Fine" "Okay then" "Yah okay!" "I will thank you very much!" "Oh your welcome!" Cell said happily. What a weird conversation huh?   
  
Punchme then said,"Your a crybaby because when you get hurt you always cry!" "Cell said"Prove it" "Okay I will!" "Fine!" "Fine!" "When I kicked your private like the man I am you started crying!" "No I didn't!" "Yes you did!" "Prove it then!" "Okay I will!" They continued arguing like this while the other people were beating the crap out of each other and buildings were falling down. Pretty stupid huh?  
  
Now to Tallguy fighting other evil wizards! Up up and away! Tallguy was beating the crap out of some wizards until Punchme's evil brother named Kickme kicked Tallguy through a store! Tallguy was very angry and yelled,"Your name is Kickme now isen't it! Well I'll do you a favor and kick you!" Tallguy kicked Kickme and whipped out his wand and yelled "Shinku-Hadouken!"  
  
Kickme yelled "Dance like a weird freak while cooking bacon and eating hot noodle soup!" Tallguy started dancing. Then he cooked bacon and ate soup. The bacon fell on Tallguy's face and the hot soup fell all over Tallguy! Tallguy yelled"Ahhhhh my eyes burn and I have soup in my pants and it stings real bad!" Kickme started laughing maniacally until he saw the beam coming straight at him!  
  
Kickme deflected it and it hit Tallguy and Tallguy left flying through the air in pain from the impact! Tallguy decided just to use his special move the Pancake Maker and jumped on Kickme and Kickme yelled"Ouch! Ho much do you weight one thousand five hundred pounds or something!?" "Yep!" Kickme in his pancake shaped started took a giant step away from him. Kickme turned back to normal.  
  
Kickme well kicked him! Tallguy got kicked threw a store and was koed! No!!! They need you! Oh well!  
  
Cell saw this and immediatley punched Punchme threw a store and ran to fight Kickme!  
  
Someguy was having trouble fighting some other guy. Someguy just started punching the crap out of him and whipped out his wand and yelled,"Sotosuki!" and a green beam of magic came out of his wand. The other guy yelled the dreaded spell and the dreaded spell was overpowering the other spell! Someguy was sweating bullets.  
  
Someguy knew what he was about to do he was going to regret for the rest of his life. Someguy yelled the dreaded spell! Gasp he yelled the dreaded spell! You know what that means! You say"No!" Oh he has to go to Pinkbutterkaban a wizard prison! Nooooo Someguy! Oh well back to the story!  
  
Someguy just had to do it for his life and his friends.The two black spell beams were hitting each other. Someguy just had to win this! His magic beam was about to defeat the ther guy's beam until Evilguy puched Someguy! Someguy's wand slipped out of his hand in the process and Someguy got hit by the dreade spell and died a fast and painful death.  
  
Cell was getting the crap beat out of him. When Cell got up he saw Kickme grinning evilly. Cell wondered why and saw that all the good wizards and witches were on the floor ever koed or dead. Cell was terrified and wondered what he was supposed to do now all alone. Cell started running away like crazy screaming sissy screams!  
  
Cell found Someguy's wand and took it and yelled"Stay back I have a wand and it's armed!" The wizards and witches and The Thing(he can laugh) started laughing maniacally and Kickme asked,"Do you even know how to use that thing!" "No!! But let me test it!" Cell got ready pointed the wand at him and yelled "Hurt them!" and the spell backfired and sent Cell flying in pain! The evil wizards and witches started laughing even harder!  
  
"I can't do this by myself!" Cell saw a vision of his father and he told him "Just put your tiny mind to it okay Cell?" "Okay" "Good" Cell looked for something to help him while the enemies were laughing. Cell saw fire and a fan and a lightbulb just seemed to pop out over his head but only a half lighten light bulb. Cell thought"It's like something is missing!"  
  
Cell looked at the fire, it looked at him, Cell looked at the fan and it looked at him. This happened for a few seconds. Thn he yelled "Umm! Pizza!!" The lightbulb turned off! I slapped myself and asked myself what is in Cell's little mind? I decided to give him a good idea since I'm the author you know!  
  
The lightbulb popped out again but with full light this time! Cell then said,"I know first I'll wait for the wizards and witches then I'll turn on the fan weak enough to make sure the fire does not go out. Then I go far away to make sure the explosion does not kill me and get close to the fan and fart in it! Then the gas of my fart well go over to the fire and kill them!"  
  
When they came Cell did exactly what he planned and then the fire exploded. The people were screaming "Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" Some of the evil wizards died like Punchme while others lived like Kickme and The Thing(Well he's not a wizard) Cell woke up Tallguy and told him what happened and that Someguy was killed. Tallguy was sad and they talked about the horrible war in the dark and starry night and both fell asleep on the cold, hard, bare ground.  
  
Tommorow would be another day as they shopped because there were only a few shops that survived the diffcult war.  
  
Now is it good. Please review! 


	6. Second part of shopping

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or Harry Potter. Oh and I don't own Oxi-clean!  
  
Sorry I have'nt updated. I've had tons of parties, I've went to Laughlin in Nevada, and have been playing NBA Baller. I also realized I haven't described how the characters look. I will describe them in this chapter.  
  
Cell woke up at the break of dawn and he saw the shining sun rising from the horizon. "Man what a horrible dream. Especially the butterfly!" Cell then started rubbing his green eyes and then opened them. He started looking around Diagoly Alley and realized that it wasen't a dream. Cell started shivering seeing dead bodies around Diagoly Alley.  
  
Cell woke up Tallguy. Tallguy stayed asleep. "He must be a heavy sleeper." Cell started jumping on him. Cell slapped his lips off literaly! His lips ran away! Tallguy woke up and tried to speak. But the words were really hard to understand.   
  
Tallguy was running trying to find his lips until he found them. Tallguy then said,"We have to get your other wizard items okay Cell?" "Sure!" Tallguy then said," We have to get your Defense Against the Sissy Dark Arts(DATSDA) items."  
  
"What if the store got destroyed. Remember that war? I saw a lot of buildings colaspe!" "Look Cell it's over there!" Tallguy pointed to a small shop with golden inscriptions on it that said DATSDA. Cell was confused by the letters and asked,"Wasen't it supposed tp say Defense Against the Sissy Dark Arts not DATSDA?" "DATSDA does stand for that." Celll then said,"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stand for what?" Tallguy slapped himself! "Never mind" Tallguy started walking over there and so did Cell.  
  
Tallguy saw a mirror and looked at himself. He had not looked at himself for sevaral years and always wondered how he looked like but never found a mirror. Tallguy saw his long, thick, curly, black hair and saw his ragged jacket. He also was wearing a black t-shirt underneath it. He saw a few wrinkles on his face and he had blue eyes and a few scars. He was about forty years old. He was nine ft tall.  
  
Cell then decided to look at himself in the mirrior and as you guessed it he looked like perfect Cell just was shorter and looked much more immature.  
  
Cell asked,"What are we looking for Tallguy?" "Just a book." When Tallguy found the book they left. Tallguy was looking for Transfirguation shop and got everything Cell needed.  
  
Tallguy almost got everything Cell needed. Cell was busy looking for a broomstick. He saw a Wimpus 2000 and bought it. It was absoloutley the worst broomstick ever or your money is back guranteed! "Yah I got a cool broomstick! Wait where's the on switch?" Cell started searching for a switch when he did not it find he decided just to ask the teachers at Hoggywartsy.  
  
Tallguy looked for Cell and when he found him he said,"Hey Cell we have to get your robes and wand! First let's get the robes. Cell gave the broomstick to Tallguy and walked towards a robe shop. A guy measured Cell. He put a robe on Cell but Cell's tail poked a hole through it, "There all done!" "Wait my tail is poking out! I don't like showing my tail!" Tallguy then asked,"Then why does all your clothes have a hole in them and that shows your tail?" "Because I think my parents were tail showers! Tail showers! Why did they have to be tail showers!? Why, why, why?!" "Shutup!"  
  
Cell kept whining until Tallguy slapped Cell to his senses. "What happened?" "Nothing Cell" Tallguy said smoothly. "Oh" The robe guy gave Cell his robe that was xxtra strong so Cell's tail would'nt poke through it The robe guy said, "Smooth!" Tallguy said"Thanks!"  
  
"Cell go get your wand at the wand shop I have to get something" "Where is the wand shop?" "The wand shop is over there" Tallguy pointed to a old broken down brown shop. "I want to go with you!" "You won't go with me!" "Yes!' "No!" Yes" No" "No" Yes" "No!" "Yes!" Cell then grinned happily and said,"Fine have it your way I'm going with you!" Tallguy could'nt believe that Cell actually tricked him! But he kicked Cell to the wand shop.  
  
Cell then said,"I thought i was going with you!" "To bad!" Cell got angry and barged in the wand shop."Whoa whoa! Angry random person I do know! Don't barge in like that! Cell don't destroy the door or something!" "How did you know my name and what is yours!" "My name is Wandy! Behold Wandy! And I knew your name because I can predict the future! Woo woo!" Wandy started waving his hands. Cell was not a least bit entertained by Wandy's antics.  
  
"I said i was a magical future predicter! Woo woo!" and kept waving his small hands in front of Cell's face. Cell repilied angrily. "To me you look like a little midget man with white hair, green eyes, and a very skinny body wearing midget sized clothes that are rags! Now give me my wand!" "Oh sick you perv you were looking at my body!" "Your body is unavoidable so shut up! It is physically impossible to not see your body at the angle I see you or from where I'm standing and........" Wandy moved to the tall desk and only his neck showed. "So you can see my body from here!" "You did not let me finish you idiot, pathetic exuse for a human being that sells wands!" "Oh sorry!" "You should be and you had to stay at the same place!" "Point proven sorry!" Man i guess Cell isen't such an idiot after all!  
  
"Sorry I was having a moment! What happened?" Never mind he was having moment of smartness. Wandy replied,"We were peacefully looking for your wand and we did not fight at all! Alright!" "Okay!" "Now let's get started!" "But I thought we already started!" "Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm oh I meant from the last wand we started with!" "Oh!"  
  
Cell was trying every wand in the shop. Tallguy was patiently waiting outside. Well actually was screaming in anger! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Why doesn't he hurry up!!!" He punched a random guy! "I'm going to sue you! Expect a call from lawyers!" "Darn it! I'm angry, became violent, punched a random guy that I do not know in the face, and got sued! I have to take out my anger on something!" He punched another guy in the face and got sued again! "I got sued again!" He started screaming for Cell to come out but to bad the walls were soundproof!  
  
Cell was about to give up until Wandy said,"I wonder........" he took out a case. He then a opened it and there was a beutiful, sleek, polished, black wand with a few red stripes on it. Cell instantly grabbed it and a golden aura surrounded him and he felt a warm tingly feeling inside of him. Wandy said,"Odd very peciluar" "What's the odd thing?" "Well there's only two of its kind it was made from a peice of a twelve inch feather of the Black Star Phoenix and the a the type of wood was Black Mangouy wood. It's very rare. And the brother of this wand was the one who gave you that scar" and pointed to Cell's head. "But I don't have a scar!" "Oh sorry!" "But what was his name?" "His name was......" Wandy took a deep breath and said,"Voldie!" "Voldie what a weird name!" Wandy screamed sissy screams and fainted. "Oh well I guess I don't get charged and that's good because I have no money!"   
  
Cell left the wand shop and saw Tallguy his face was red but he had a snowy, white, owl in a cage and it was staring back at him. "This is for you Cell I bought him for you!" "Gee thanks Tallguy!" Cell petted the owl and said,"I will name you Me! Alright Me!" Tallguy shook his head in disproval at Cell's lack of creativity. Cell asked, "Who's Voldie!" out loud everyone at Diagoley Alley screamed sissy screams and fainted including all the pets. Well Tallguy was the only one who did not faint just screamed sissy screams. Cell of course did not faint or scream sissy screams.  
  
"Well Cell he killed your parents!" "Oh I always wondered who killed them! Yah I know who did it! I will get my revange! And anymore information on him Tallguy?" "Well he's an evil wizard that anyone he standed in his way killed them!" "But why did he turn evil?" "He went to Hoggywartsy and he wanted to be cool but everyone thought he was lame. He left Hoggywartsy in tears and said he would get his revange. He started practicing the Dark Sissy Arts and on his free time rapped. When he was ready he killed countless wizards and witches!" Tallguy kept telling Cell as much info as possible. When he was about to reach the end about Voldie it was nightfall and there were sparkling stars in the dark night sky. The full moon was silver and shone light upon Tallguy and Cell.  
  
Cell was taking in the information like oxi-clean takes in wine on somebody's carpet. "Well Cell the night he killed your parents he went after you. He yelled the dreaded spell you deflected it and hit him and it almost killed him. That's why you are famous! And people know your name!" This information was not true if you look at the prolouge Cell did not deflect anything he only screamed sissy screams and bit him. Everyone got this information wrong because a muggie saw Voldie flying away and saw a beam but the beam was his imagination and he could not see the broomstick. Voldie looked like he was flying away from Cell's spaceship and the beam was from there to. They went to he spaceship and found Cell's parents dead. The wizards found this out and instantly put the evidence together and thought Cell deflected Voldie magical spell.  
  
Tallguy then said," And he's the one gave you that scar!" "But I don't have a scar! "Oh sorry and he killed many non magic folks!" Cell then asked,"What are folks?" "They are people Cell." "What are people?" Tallguy became frustarated and replied angrily,"They are yous!" "What are yous?" "They are people!!!!!!!!!" "What are people?" "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!" "Oh they are ahhs now I know! You could've just said so Tallguy!" "Finally!" What are ahhhs?" "Just sleep here Cell tommorow you are going to Hoggywartsy!" "Yah!" Thay both layed down and fell asleep. Tommorow Cell would finally get to go to Hoggywartsy school of witchcraft and wizadry.  
  
Review please! It will turn funnier when Cell is at Hoggywartsy! I mean it! Oh and i forgot to make Tallguy say muggies first not non magic folks. Then he would say non magic folks sorry for the mistake! 


	7. Hoggywartsy

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or Harry Potter. Too bad I don't or else I would tweak the DBZ world a little bit more then usual.  
  
Well on to the story my fellow citizens. I do not own Fereris. I can't spell it either! Why! For some reason I did not change Ginny's looks or name.  
  
Birds were chirping, the sun was rising, and the green freak known as Cell woke up. "Come on Tallguy! Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!!!" Cell screamed in his ear. He suddenly woke up alost deaf thanks to Cell. "Wow Cell you almost made me deaf! Thanks." Tallguy said sarcastically."Your welcome!!" Cell started grinning like some sort of maniac. "I was being sarcastic!" "What is this sarcastic you are talking about!? Is he your brother or something because it sounds more like a girl name?" "You will never understand my dear Cell." "I'm not a deer you big deer calling persson that is very tall!" "Cell I was being sarcastic!" "Ohhhhhh so your brother said that!" "Whatever!"  
  
"Okay Cell we have to go to King Almost Looks Like A Cross Station. Got it?" "Yah I'm going to Hoggywartsy!" "I think that's a yes." " It seemingly seems like a yes because it is! Or is it?"  
  
Tallguy and Cell started walking towards the train station.   
  
One hour later they had gotten there. "Cell here's your ticket" "Cell turned around and walked then he realized Tallguy was not following him. Cell spun around and saw Tallguy no where in sight. "No Tallguy come back I don't have my luggage!" Cell started running towards Diagoly Allly and realized the train was leaving in thirty minuets and it tooked the one hour to get to King Almost Looks Like A Cross Station. How was he supposed to get there and back? "I'm done for! Wait I have my broomstick! But there is no on switch! Maybe you just have sit on it! That's it!" Cell sat on it. He then yelled"Up,up, and away towards Diagoley Alley were I lost my luggage!"  
  
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!" The broomstick was very hard to control! Well duh when you buy the worst broom ever and it's guranted they guranteed you a terrible ride! "Well at least this better then walking!" Tallguy's image was in Cell's head and remebered that Tallguy told him to be hidden from Muggies when he was flying and to keep his broomstick with him when they were going to the station. Thankfully he did.  
  
Cell then flew up. "Hey I'm starting to get a hang of this!" He ran into a tree! "Never mind!" cell was stuck in a tree and had to get out he only had twenty five minuets left. Cell saw sombody. "Help me stranger I'm stuck in this tall brown tree! Save me! Please!" "Hello my name is Nicey the Nice Nice! You must be Cell Rotter Dotter." "You must be nice then!" "Yep I am! Now what can I do for you!?" "Save me from this tree! Chop it so I can get down!" Cell was losing his grip on the Wimpus 2000. "It's against my nature to chop down trees! I love them!" Nicey hugged the tree caringly and said"Nothing bad will happen to you" Cell then muttered angrily and rolled his eyes. "Oh great a tree hugger! Wait I'm also a tree hugger! I love you trees!" He started hugging them.  
  
Two minuets had already passed and Cell realized that. "Well just climb up here and yank me down!" "You'll get hurt and that's mean!" "It's nice when you do it to me!" He got out a law book that had laws and wrote. "See Nicey it even says in this law book says it's nice to hurt Cell!" Nicey being so naive believed him and yanked him down. Cell got up and flew away on his broomstick. Cell satrted spinning and doing alley-oops. It was one minuet to ten minuets so Cell put the pedal to the metal! "I'm putting the petal to the metal! Yah petal to the metal!" Cell reached Diagoley Alley and saw his luggage and some sort of janitor was near it. "Hi person I'm sure that their name is Trashman!" "Nope my name is Maxie and your name is Cell! Cell Dotter!" "Awwwww!" "Yes I was right one point for Maxie zero points for Cell! I'm on fire baby! Literally!" You can see a peice of his hair burning.  
  
"Wait Cell where's your scar!" "I don't have a scar!!" "Oh sorry!" Cell finally remember that there was no way he could carry his luggage and fly at the same time! Just no way! "Hey ummm Maxie do you have a car I could borrow?" "Sure Cell!" Cell got in the the red Fererri. (I can't spell it can someone tell me how to spell it?) "Do you even know how to drive Cell?" "No but I'm going to learn right now!" Cell pushed the pedal all the way and his velocity was amazing!! A police saw this and started chasing him but was no match for the other car's speed. "Ahhhhh tree!!!" Cell turned the other way. "Ahhhh hobo!!" Cell almost hit the traveling hobo! "Ahhh bum!!" Cell hit a mailbox it flew and hit the bum. Cell then thought what he was going to say in trial the reason why he hit the bum. "I will say the mailbox hit the bum! It's the mailbox's fault! Blame the mailbox" Cell saw a old lady. "Ahhh helpless old lady!" For some unknown reason she threw a bag of food at the car's window! "Ahhhhh i can't see what's ahead of me!" Cell crashed into a wall.  
  
"I wonder what's my ticket number?" Cell's face suddenly turned pale. Well some of it always was really pale natrually. "It's 5678690 and 3/90768! How am I supposed to get there in time the train leaves in....." looks at a clock. "Ten minuets! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!" Cell backed up the car an went in the station! He started driving in it and ran over someone! The person who he ran over's wife said,"I'm sueing you!" Cell yelled"I'm not telling you my name!" Cell kept driving madly. Eight minuets later Cell stopped and he was in between platform 5678690 and 5678691.  
  
Cell ran over to a worker there and asked "Were is platform 5678690 and 3/90768?!" "You must be joking alien kid! Wait your an alien kid! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!" The guy ran away! Some woman yelled in his ear loudly"Hello my name is Mocky Crazy Weasel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cell screamed,"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh crazy old woman I'm not death!" "Well I know where Platform 5678690 is!" "Well good for you so tell me!" "But first meet my children!" "But I only have...." looks at a clock "one min...." "Everyone in our family besides a daughter of mine named Ginny has Rainbow colored hair!" She pointed to two tall, blue eyed, rainbow colored haired boys."There names are Ferd and Gorge." She then pointed to a girl with long rainbow haired girl with blue eyes. She was a yellow shirt that had the word magic on it and some sort of jeans.. "She is Ronny" Ferd and Gorge walked up to Cell and shook both of his hands. "Nice to meet you" Cell then got shocked. "Ferd and Gorge don't play mean tricks on him! By the way what is your name?" Mocky asked. "I'll tell you later it's only thiry seconds before the train leaves!" "It is! You have to skip through the wall of platform 5678690!" Cell grabbed his cargo and skipped through it just as Mocky instructed him.  
  
Cell, Ronny, Ferd, and Gorge ran towards the train. Ferd and Gorge went off somewhere in the train. Cell and Ronny found seats and then sat in them. "So since you already know I'm Ronny Weasel what's your name?" "Cell. Cell Dotter." "Your Cell Dotter!! Amazing I'm talking to Cell Dotter! Wait where's your scar?!" "I don't have a scar!!!" "Oh sorry!" A brown haired boy with a smart look in his face was standing before them. " May I sit here?" the boy asked questiongly. "Sure!" Cell replied. The boy looked at Cell and yelled,"Holy book your Cell Dotter!! Where's your scar?" "How many times do I have to tell everyone I don't have a scar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The boy held his ears in pain. "Sorry Cell" Cell forgived him and asked for the boy's name. "My name is Herman." "Okay!"  
  
Ronny was trying to make a frog turn pink. Cell was mildly interested while Herman was really interested! Ronny failed many times. Herman showed Ronny the proper words and technique. Ronny asked him,"What are you a I know everything in the world and I love helping other people and I am a nerdy know everything Wonder Boy?!" "Yes I am" Ronny then said,"Cocky" Cell then asked, "What's cocky?" Ronny replied,"What are you an idiot?!" "Yes. Yes I am!" "Wow wasen't expecting that!  
  
Herman then started talking about how smart he was and everything. Then he started talking about the history of Hoggywartsy. Cell and Ronny became so bored and they fell asleep  
  
Six hours later they got to Hoggywarsty. "Wake up!" Herman slapped both Ronny and Cell awake. Cell, Ronny, and Herman went to some changing room. When they all changed into their robes they walked outside. Cell saw Tallguy outside of the train. "Hey Tallguy!" He told Tallguy everything that happened after Tallguy left. Tallguy repeadtly said sorry because Tallguy also did not remind him about his luggage. "Who's your friends Cell?" "Oh that's Ronny and this is Herman" Herman walked straight to Tallguy. "Nice to meet you sir" "Nice to meet you too" Then it was Ronny's turn. "Hi my name is Ronny as Cell told you it's awsome to meet you!" "Ronny!!" Herman said in anger. He really thought Ronny was being rude. "Wow I've never met a boy so polite!" Ronny said suprised. Ronny really thought Herman was only smart guy. Nothing else.  
  
Tallguy yelled in the air,"First years come on board these boats!" Ronny, Cell, Herman, Tallguy, and boy named Nevy went on the boat. A mouse came out of Ronny's pocket. "Mind you people Scabby is getting out of my pocket. No one here is scared of mice? Right?" Everyone shook there head in the way that means no. "Good!" Cell then replied,"No, but I'm scared of butterflies!! So don't have a butterfly as a pet or I'm not your friend!!" Everyone on the boat stared at him in a weird way. Well everyone beside Tallguy he already knew that! Ronny replied "Yah Cell yah." "Herman looked towards Nevy. He had blue eyes brown hair was a little overweight. He was only a little bit taller than Ronny and was wearing robes with red on it. Cell noticed the red on Nevy's robe and screamed,"Ahhhh it's blood!! Get away from me you evil murderer!! Don't take my life too!! Everyone swim away he's an evil murder!!" "Cell that always was there it's a design!" Herman explained. "Ahhhhh you use blood as a design!! You sick people! You totally discust me!"Ronny yelled,"Cell it isen't blood!!" "Then what is it ketchup? I love ketchup!! Must lick ketchup!!" Cell started licking the design on Nevy's robe! Nevy yelled,"What is he mentally disturbed!!" Cell then stopped and yelled angrily,"You calling the great Cell Rotter Dotter mentally disturbed!" Nevy then got excited. "Your Cell Dotter! Wait where's your scar!?" "I don't have a scar!" and Cell punched Nevy off the boat!  
  
Tallguy paddled the boat off towards Nevy's direction and got him.  
  
"Sorry boy that I don't know there name." "It's okay! By the way my name is Nevy Bigbutt!" Everyone on the boat started snickering! "Hey why are you snickering! Why does this always happen!!" "Nothing Nevy!" Cell the realized he did not have his cargo! "Where is my cargo!!" "Don't worry Cell the teachers took it to the main place which is were we eat. "Oh"  
  
"Oh Cell you diden't get to meet my other brother Perecy! I hate him!" Cell asked,"Why!?" "Well he get's better robes than anyone in the family because he's a Player!" "Ohhh my gosh he's a player!! He does that to innocent girls! What kind of man is he? I would be ashamed too if my brother was a player! Wait I don't have a brother! Oh well!" Ronny realized what Cell thought his brother actually was and also was suprised what player also could mean! "Cell not that type of player!" "Oh! Then what does that mean!" "Well you can get it the earliest when your a fifth year. You have to be like perfect to get it!" "Man that's hard!" "Yes it is!"Ronny agreed.  
  
Cell, Ronny, and Nevy were shocked at the giant castle they soon saw appear out of no where. The moonlight was all over the castle. The sparkling stars seemed to make the castle see natrual. Lights were flickering throught castle's windows and shone upon the water.  
  
Cell then yelled,"Cool yellow water!! i've never seen yellow water! Well only when I go to the bathroom!" Herman replied,"Cell that's just the light comig from the castle shining on the water!" "Oh"  
  
Cell, Ronny, Herman, and Nevy climed out of their boat and saw a bunch of first years close to the door. Nevy went off somewhere in the crowd while Ronny, Herman, and Cell tried to get to the front. When they finally did a blond haired boy approached them and smirked. "So it's true Cell Dotter has come to Hoggywartsy!" The first years started whispering but Cell caught a few words that said his name. "Dotter you need to learn who to hang out with who will show you the right way and that is me and my friends!" Darco pointed to tough overweight girls. "Those are my cronies Goyleen and Crabbeen! Some people are just weak people! Poor and dumb." Darco looked at Ronny. "K-mart bought robes, rainbow colored hair, freckles, must be a Weasel!" Darco said coldly. "By the way my name is Darco Milfoil join me!" It seemed more like a command then a request. Cell looked at Ronny who was hurt at Milfoil's latest insults. "Yah....." Cell put his hand in Darco's hand. Everyone was shocked. Ronny and Herman could not belive it it and Milfoil was smirking. "Right!!!" Cell finished and kicked his private. Darco said coldly,"You'll pay Dotter!!" Darco was holding his crotch.  
  
A stern looking woman opened the doors and said,"Hello my name is Mrs.McDonald and you will all be taking a test today to decide in which house you will be placed in. I am head of the Gryfinroar House.  
  
Everyone was really nervous besides three idiots which were Goyleen. Crabeen, and Cell!  
  
Cell saw a hat on a stool and it sang a stupid song!   
  
"I am the Hoggywartsy hat and here to see you all to the house that pleases me and you will get what you need. I well just tell you were ought to be!"  
  
"Maybe you belong in Gryfinroar! Where the brave may dwell their daring heart , thier nerve, and chivalry set the Gryfinroars apart!"  
  
"Or maybe Hufflesissy is the one for you! Where the patient, kind, and loyal are ! And they are unafraid of toil!"  
  
"Or yet maybe the wise old Ravensmart is the right house for you! If you've a ready mind, where those of wit and learning will always find there kind you belong in Ravensmart!  
  
"Even Slytherich can be the one for you! You'll make true friends! Those cunning and sly folks use any means to achieve there ends!"  
  
"So put me on don't be scared you are in safe hands for I am the Thinking Cap!"  
  
The room burst in appluase. "Man we have to take a test from a hat how weird is that!" Cell said.  
  
Mrs.McDonald came to the front of the room and yelled,"When I call your, you will put on the hat and sit on the stool." "Abotty Hannahal!" A pink faced girl with bloned pigtails left the line, put the hat on, then sat down. A few moments later the hat yelled,"Hufflesissy!" The table on the far right clapped and cheered. Cell saw a ghost known as Fatty Flairy wave merrily at her. Cell remembered all the house ghosts names. Fatty Flairy, Amazingly Almost nearly Headless Nicky (AANHN) the Gryfinroar ghost, Kan the Evil Slytherich Ghost, and Smarty Smarthead the Ravensmart ghost. Mrs.McDonald called another name,"Boney, Susy!" Once again the hat yelled,"Hufflepuff!" Susy decided to sit right next to Hannahal."Booty, Terrel!" "Ravenclaw!" The table that was second to the left bursted in appluase."Blockbuster, Mandiny" also went to Ravensmart. the first new Gryfinroar was Browny, Lavendy. "Bull, Millicenty!" "Slytherich!" the Slytherich table clapped.  
  
Ronny said,"Eveyone that goes to Slytherich turns bad to the bone! Voldie also was in Slytherich!" "I did not know that! Thanks Ronny!  
  
Mrs.Mcdonald then yelled,"Ranger, Herman!" Herman ran towards the stool excidently and jammed the hat on his head."Gryfinroar!!" the hat shouted. Ronny groaned. "Nevy Bigbutt!" Everyone started laughing! Nevy scremed,"Why does that always happen!!" Nevy was placed in Gryfinroar but the hat was laughing so hard he got Koed from laughing so hard!  
  
One hour later the hat was once again consious.  
  
When Milfoil's name was called he was placed in Slytherich. Several names were called until atlast they called Cell's name! "Dotter, Cell!" Whispers then broke out in the hall. Cell walked towards the stool nervously at all the attention he was getting. It felt like hours no wait like years just to get to the stool. When he finally got to the stool and the hat was just about to be place on Cell's head people were crowding around trying to get a good look at him.   
  
There was a small voice in his ear saying," Difficult very difficult. Some courage yes. Not a bad mind either. There is a lot of hidden potienial in you my young lad just have to know how to unlock it. You seem to want to prove yourself. That's quite interesting.......so where shall I put you?  
  
Cell was holding on to the edges and thought to himself 'Not Slytherich. Not Slytherich' "Not Slythrich huh? Are you absoloutley sure? You can be magnificent and learn a lot, it's all in your head!" cell replied back,"But is it in my heart to be in Slytherich? I think not so put me in the house you believe I should be in! But sometimes you should not just search the mind of the person but the very soul of the person" Cell said wisely. "Very wise indeed! It will just take me a minute!" The hat scanned Cell's heart and yelled,"Gryfinroar!!!" Cell took off the hat and walked towards the Gryfinroar table. The Gryfinroar was cheering and clapping for him. He felt happy and hoped Ronny got picked to be in Gryfinroar. When he did he felt happy for her and congratulated her and so did the three of her brothers.  
  
Dumbydorry the hyper headmaster yelled,"Let's eat sugar!!" Everyone booed him and threw tomatoes at him. "Okay let's eat anything but sugar!" Everyone cheered and ate happily.  
  
So is it good hope so. Longest chapter yet. There was less humor in this chapter though. 


	8. Flashback

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or DBZ.  
I am sorry i haven't update i wanted a week's break from typing. But then my cousins came to my house a lot of times. I got so so tired and restless. Hope you enjoy this chapter it's going to be shorter than the other chapters. This chapter is only basically based on a flash back.means thoughts.  
Cell woke bright and early before anyone else woke up. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, andwent to the can. Yep, his regular morning routine.  
Everyone was asleep and no one woukld be down to the the main room. (Where they all eat) So he just went down stairs and sat on a big and comfy couch. Yesterday's events seemed to be like a blur to him. It just came and went. Cell decided to remember the amazing day.  
Flashback "Cheers to the newest Gryfinroar good ol Cell Rotter Dotter!" the Gryfinroar said. "Cell this is a song that is dedicated to making you happy written and sang by the Weasel brothers!" Fred said. A light suddenly appeared and landed on Ferd and Gorge so they got the spotlight. Ferd and Gorge merringly jumped on the wooden table.  
"Cell Dotter is the best oh yeah oh yeah! He's in Gryfinroar oh yeah oh yeah!!" Ferd and Gorge swung their legs up in the air and backflipped off the table. Then proceeded walking towards the Ravensmarts table.  
"We have hi, you don't haha!! I'm sure you'll be whining and screaming!! Like this! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! But too bad we have him and you and you don't oh yeah oh yeah!! You nerdy little guys are just so annoying you think you know everything but you don't!! Do you know how to beat Voldie nooooooo!!!! Only Cell Dotter does!!!" They then struted towards the Hufflepuff table. When someguy got in there way they just kicked right in his butt and the boy started crying."You guys are wimps! Trustworthy wimps! You'd fall for any trick we would pull on you! Just plain discusting to even look at! We hook you into a trap! Your to good for are tastes. Cell know's better than to be friends with you because than SPLAT!  
Ferd and Gorge got ready for their sinister tricks as they ran towards the slytherich tables with an evil look in their eyes. "You know we hate you sludgeballs we like it aw ha aw ha!! We all hate you man!! We all hate you man! We all hate you man!!" The Weasles started to disco dance."We all hate you yah!! We're stayin alive!! Oh yeah oh yeah!! We're oh yeah oh yeah!! We're trickin alive, We're tricken alive, We're tricken alive you sludgeballs yah! Now let's trick you!"  
Some Slytheriches had scared written all over their faces! Others were'nt in anyway scared to bad for them! "Hey want a pie!" They said to fat kid. He instantly gobbled the pie and he started vomitting! There evil jokes continued. When they finnaly finished they recieved a massive cheer from Gryfinroar. They bowed and silently walked towards their table.  
Dumbydorry clapped furiously and all the other teachers looked disprovingley.  
Dumbydorry yelled "Spectatctular Ferd and Gorge here have a sack of sugar!! Wait no my sack of sugar!! His name Bobby Sugarseed!! I love you Bobby!! You love me too! Great!! Sorry Bobby I have to do this to you Bobby!" Dumbydorry sniffed. "Remember I always loved you!!"  
He then ate the sackof sugar!! GASP (I'm amazed to!! How could do that!!sobs)  
I a second year known as Chrissy Christmas yelled in anger"He's a cannibal!!! A cannibal!! Sugar does not need to be eaten!! Join my club the Sugar Proctecting Club!! And fight these, these,canibals!!" She pointed directly towards Dumbydorry.  
Barley anybody cheered but she still bowed. Ferd and Gorge approached Cell.  
"Cell did you like it?" asked. "It was okay" Cell hid the fact that Ferd and Gorge sung horrible and their song stunk.  
Ronny had been holding her ears the hold time Ferd and Gorge were singing. Herman was busilly reading his book.  
"We want food, we want food, we want food!" the whole school chanted after about an hour's wait for food. When finally the food came everyone cheered and whistled happily.But then suddenly the food was gone as the two Sixth years and one hingry fifth year ate all the food. Vegeta and Goku were the two sixth years. Gohan was the fith year.  
The whole school started crying!  
Ferd yelled in anger"Why does this always happen you, you, fat pigs! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Vegeta just let out a big burp,"We were hungry you fools!"  
Goku then repiled,"Yeah Veggie is right!" "Stop calling me Veggie Kakorot you bafoon!" Cell then mistranslated Goku's name and said slowly"Car-ot?" "No it's Goku! Why does the Vegetable head always call me kakorot!"  
Gohan then said" Because that's your real name dad!" Cell screamed in horror!"He's your dad he's only a year older than you! FREAKS!!!" Gohan waved his hands frantically."I mean brother!"  
A fifth year walked right up to Goku and pow right to the kisser! Then to Vegeta! But just smiled sweetly towards Gohan. Gohan blushed and did the typical son grin.  
Ferd said "Well in two years Goku and that Veggie head are gone but Gohan leaves in three years!" Cell yelled in anger"I can't wait that long!"  
Ferd and Gorge smiled wickingly.  
"Hey Cell why don't you help us prank those three!"  
"Sure!"  
End of flashback /I don't think i'm going to prank the three I just don't want to. It seems wrong I guess I won't. But what about Ferd and Gorge?/ 


	9. Potions and Lotions and Herbology

Disclaimer:I do not own any character from DBZ or Harry Potter. Well here's the chapter hope you enjoy it. It's gonna be kind of boring since this is the chapter I introduce most of teachers. I don't know why but i sometimes make Cell smarter while other times I make him dumber. And yes Gohan, Vegeta, and Goku are sayins. Oh I don't own SPongebob Cell waited in the lobby room and started talking to his pet owl."Me do you think I'll have a good day?" Me just chirped softly and Cell took that as a yes. But he was deeply wrong.  
Cell saw Herman going down the stairs quickly. While Ronny just walked slowly down the red stairs. Rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Oh come on Ronny aren't you excited for classes!" Herman yelled happily. "Not really all I want to do is go to sleep.  
Cell looked at the two and wondered if he should tell them what Ferd and Gorge were going to do and was quickly interupted by Ronny.  
"Cell are you okay how long have you been awake?" "I'm okay Ronny. Actually I don't know how long I've been awake."  
Ronny snickered softly. Cell, Ronny, and Herman decided to compare each others schedule. Cell said happily,"Are schedule are almost a like. Except When I'm in Herbology with Ronny your taking an extra class aren't you Herman?" "Yes Advanced Muggies Studies. It used to be known as just Muggie Studies which only could be taken by third years and higher but now they are allwing first years and second years take the class.  
"Why do you want to learn about Muggies. You already know enough about them! Ther ingnorant, selfish, stupid......" Ronny got interupted by Herman."Kind of likey you" Ronny blushed deeply.  
Cell just laughed loudly and woke up every single Gryfinroar and it sounded like a stampede, them trying to go to the bathroom. Herman and Ronny were just holding the ears in pain. "Cell you laugh horribly!" "Yep!" Cell replied happily with a stupid grin on his face.  
Ronny and Herman sighed in defeat. "He'll never learn!" Cell desended down to the other stairs, Ronny and Herman mimecked his actions.  
When they got Great Hall thjey sat down in there seats to eat there food quietly. The trio was suprised to see that othere people were there to and some een finished their food and it was only 6 a.m.  
Cell decided to ask Nevy Bigbutt (snickers quietly!) a question. "Nevy why is everyone here so early?" "Well because those pigs well eat all our food!"  
"What pigs I've never seen any pigs here well besides the ones that went in my bed and......." Ronny turned green and left to the girls bathroom. "Cell it's an expression!" "Ohhh so who's the so called pigs?" "Gohan, Vegeta, and Goku!"  
"Oh yeah yesterday they ate all the food!" "Your a pig to Cell" Nevy said sarcastically. "I'm a pig!" Cell started crying. Herman then said."Cell he was beging sarcastic."  
"Oh you mean Tallguy's brother!" Herman was in shock but then recovered and yelled,"Tallguy has a brother!" "Yah his name is Sarcastic!" Herman was lauging! "That sounds more like a girl name to me!" Herman repiled. When Ronny came back they all looked at their schedule for theiir first class and it was with du-du-dun! DOUBLE CLASSES WITH SNAKE AND SLYTHERICH AS THE OTHER STUDENTS!!!!!"  
The trio screamed in horror!  
They left towards Snake's class. When they got their they heard the Slytherich laughing wickedly inside the classroom. They entered and Snake was smiling at them. There were a few other nervous Gryfinroars inside the classroom.  
Snake was boring Cell to death and his precious ears couldn't take anymore so he just decided to write.  
Snake noticed this and stopped his lecture.  
"Dotter do you even know what you are doing?" "I don't know sir" "what's your name and how old are you?" "I don't know sir" Snake smiled wickidley. "It seems fame isen't everythis is it Dotter?" "Yes it is sir" "I'm much more famous than you'll ever be Snake!" Snake started crying. "WHY!!!"  
"Class is dismissed leave me alone you evil kids!" He shooed everyone out of the classroom. He started to suck his thumb.  
Ronny then gave Cell a high five. "Way to go Cell! You made Snake cry!" Snake then came out of the classroom looking grim.  
"Dention both of you!" Ronny and Cell groaned.  
herman then said. "That's what happens when you say bad things about a teacher!" Cell, Ronny, and Herman left to their next class,History of Witchcraft and Wizadry.  
Ronny walked in with Cell and Herman and was shocked at all the students asleep. "It's a sign! The most boring class ever!" ROnny yelled and woke up all the students.  
Herman sighed. "Ronny, can you please use correct grammer!" "Sorry Grammer King!" Ronny said sarcastically.  
"Ronny Herman's not the Grammer King!" Cell said. "I was being sarcastic!" "oh so your were Talguy's brother!"  
Ronny was suprised at what Cell said. But then started laughing. "What you don't believe me!" "Yes I do it's just that sounds more like a girl naame!"  
Proffesor Boring came in started droning on about witches and wizards. Everyone in class fell asleep beside Herman who was hanging onto every word hge said.  
When class finally finished Herman was the only one wo heard more than three words.  
"Ughh that was one of the worsts class! Plus he gave us loads of homework!" Ronny complained.  
Cell was still asleep and snoring. ROnny screamed in his ear to wake up. When he did they were off to their next class, Plantology and sponges.  
They walked in the greenhouse. They were accomnied by the Ravensmarts. A small woman wearing black robes with yellow shimmering on it. A huge smile on the face and seemed kind of friendly. She seemed to be in her late 40s with black hair. A few wrinkles on her face but not a lot and her seemed to be greying.  
"Welcome class I'm Proffesor Plant and we will be studying the alien eating plants today and study sponges!"  
Cell turned pale when she said alien eatig plant. He remembered his last ecounter with one of those and it wasen't pretty! "First we will study these sponges! They are magnifecent creatures!" Herman raised her hand. Proffesor Plant pointed to her.  
"Proffesor. Sponges aren't creatures! They are not alive! They are inamentent objects!" "Oh nonsense Herman! They are living creatures! I'm the teacher hear and you will listen to what I say!" "Okay"  
  
herman frowned and thought /Wow she sure isen't that bright!/  
  
She handed all the students pails with a wet sponge inside. Ronny looked into hers and saw the sponge wearing a white shirt with a tie and brown shorts. She tought she was hallacinating and ignored the clothes. But when the sponge talked to her and said.  
  
"Hi my name is Spongebob!" Ronny was shocked and didn't answer. So Spongebob said his name again.  
ROnny then finally repiled still ina state of shock. "your alive!!"  
Spongbob then laughed. "Of course I am silly!" He kept laughing that annoying high pitched laughter.  
Ronny yelled. "Stop it" He continued so kept telling him to stop. When he finnaly did Ronny sighed in relief.  
  
"Hi person that I still haven't gotten your name! Meet my friend Patrick!"  
Ronny paled.  
  
I know it's short but I had to. 


	10. More classes and The Prank

Disclaimer: Don't own DBZ or Spongebob.

Haven't updated since I've been pretty busy. Well enjoy and thanks for some positive reviews I need that!

"Patrick meet ummmmm.... Red haired girl what's your name?"

Ronny just stared blankly at the two. "Okay he doesn't have a name I guess! Person with no name meet Patrick!"

Patrick extended his hand (note they are smaller than Ronny of course. They're the size of a sponge.

Ronny was about to shake his hand until Patrick slapped him. "Hi!"

Spongebob shook his head in disproval. "Patrick you are not supposed to slap him! I mean her!" Spongebob giggled.

Patrick got confused. "You mean she's a she-man! GASP!! I mean!" Patrick gasped this time and did not say the word gasp. "Hey I'm not a she-man!"

"Then you're a he-woman! DOUBLE GASP!!"

"I'm NOT A SHE-MAN OR A HE-WOMAN!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!" Ronny yelled. Her face was red with fury.

Patrick and Spongebob sneaked away.

When Ronny turned around she saw the whole class staring at her weirdly. "What did I do wrong?" Ronny said nervously.

Professor Plant approached Ronny. "Nothing is wrong! You had a conversation with the sponges! Marvelous! You get an F! (Fantastic) Ronny grinned at the statement but was still slightly worried. /Everyone is going to think I'm weird now! /

She saw Cell grinning like an idiot. /Besides him! /

Professor Plant gave most of the students a B. (Bad) But she gave Herman an A! (Awful!)

Herman screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Herman fell in the ground horrified by the awful grade.

Cell approached him. "So what! An A isn't that bad!"

Herman still stayed on the ground in a fetal position sucking his thumb. Herman was taken to the Psychologist, so everyone had a break.

Class was dismissed. Cell and Ronny went to the quiditch field.

"What's wrong with Herman?" Cell asked troubled by the experience his friend went through. "Oh you know Herman!"

Cell got confused. "Is this a trick question? If it is I'm not falling for it! No I don't! Ha see I overcame your trick question!"

Ronny slapped herself. "No Cell, it's not a trick question!" "Then why did Herman go to the psycho thing? Is he GASP!!! A psycho!"

/Oh great another guy who yells the word gasp instead of gasping! Just what I need! / "Well you can say that. He has some problems"

"Like what? Does he kill people in his sleep and stuff his victims in his refrigerator!"

"NOOOOO!!! He doesn't do that! HE seems to try to be perfect at everything!" "Ohhhhh!!! SO he's perfect at not being perfect!"

"Uhhhhh I'll leave that question alone" /what the freak! / "You see being perfect at everythong" "HAHAHAHA!!! You said everythong!! THONG!! HAHA!"

Ronny blushed deeply. "No I didn't mean that!" It was no use Cell kept laughing.

An hour later Herman was released for the Psychologist.

Ronny walked towards Herman and so did Cell. "Herman are you okay?" "Yah I'm okay"

Cell then asked Herman something. "What could happen if you failed very subject." Herman refused to answer that question and remained silent.

Their next class was Transfugation (Don't know how to spell it)

They went to their class. They saw Mrs. McDonald. Cell poked her for no reason and she screamed for no reason "ABUSE ABUSE!!!!"

She left screaming so class was dismissed. "Is that teacher crazy or something?" Ronny asked.

Herman got angry with Ronny. "Ronny how dare you say that! They teach us things! They help us! We should respect them!"

Ronny whispered towards Cell. "Next thing you know it she makes a Respect The Teachers Club!" "I heard that and I think it's a great idea!" "Why did I have to open my big bloody mouth!?" Ronny slapped herself.

Next class was Defense Against the Sissy Dark Arts Class. (DASDAC) The trio walked towards their next class.

Ronny looked at her schedule and realized they were the Hufflewimps. "We're with the Hufflewimps. At least it's not Slytherich!"

Cell looked at Ronny and agreed. Cell remembered that Ferd and Gorge were going to play a prank on Goku, Vegeta, and Gohan. The so-called Evil Sayin Trio. Cell remembered that Vegeta always said they were sayins. Ferd and Gorge told him.

_Flashback_

"_Cell one thing you should know about Vegeta, Goku, and Gohan. They are referred to as the Evil Sayin Trio (EVT) or EVT as short." Cell looked confused and asked Ferd,"What does sayin mean?"_

"_I don't know. Nobody actually knows. But I heard Vegeta say he is the Prince of all Sayins. And that they are an alien race! I believe he's out of his mind! What a lunatic!"_

_Cell looked at him weirdly. So I'm an alien race! What's wrong with being an alien race!? You got a problem with that huh? Huh!? I said do you a little piece! Don't walk away! Don't walk away!"_

_Ferd turned shook his head in disappointment and kept walking. "I knew you wouldn't want to mess with this!"_

_Cell turned and walked away. _

_End of Flashback_

"You guys go to Dark Arts I need to go to the bathroom." Ronny and Herman both shrugged. Of course Cell lied. Cell ran to look for any of the Evil Sayin Trio or the Prankster Duo.

Cell looked around the whole place but still couldn't find them.

In DASDAC class

Herman and Ronny got themselves seated and the class started. "Okay class today we will learn the stupid spell! What this can do is make your opponent stupid. It's great defense! For example if you were fighting some evil wizard you can make them stupid! And probably forgot mostly all spells!"

The class seemed to be excited to try out the spell.

"Okay first you do this!" Professor Quirry waved his wand around and yelled "Stupidious Stupido stupid!" Everyone did it but the spell hit Nevy.

Nevy started drooling and stared stupidly into space. And for some weird reason he jumped on one of the Hufflewimps and started biting his hair!

"AHHHHHH!!!! Get this animal off of me!" The boy kicked and screamed. Ronny suddenly thought of a strange idea. "Here Nevy here boy!" Ronny got a book and threw out the door. Nevy chased after and didn't come back.

Ronny and Herman got worried and excused themselves.

"Herman where do you think Nevy is?" Herman directed his eyes towards Ronny. "Don't know."

"Oh my gosh this coming from I'm the smartest person in the world! Why are you so cocky Herman?!" Herman glared daggers at Ronny. "I'm not cocky! Maybe if you'd stop being so stubborn you'd realized that!"

Ronny frowned. "I'm not the one who had to go to a Psychologist now did I?!" Herman responded. "Do you now how it feels to get an A! Horrible! Wait you now how it feels to get an A since you get that every time!"

Ronny grimaced and was about to kick Herman but stopped. "Well at least I don't constantly worry on getting F s (Fantastic)"

"Because you don't care on what grade you get!" "Yes I do! You know why because Mom would kill me if I got more than 5....."

Ronny was about to complete her sentence until they heard a loud thundering sound. It sounded like heavy footsteps. Ronny got nervous. "What was that?" Ronny said. "I don't know" Herman walked to the far corner. He peeked his head so he could see.

Herman saw a troll and gasped.

Herman motioned for Ronny to come over there. Ronny tiptoed over. Ronny looked around the corner and was about to scream until Herman covered Ronny's mouth.

The troll started walking to the boy's bathroom.

"Come on Ronny we have to follow it!" Ronny just stood in shock.

"Come on Ronny!" Ronny woke up from his state of shock. "Okay sheez I'm going!" Ronny and Herman followed the troll.

Back to Cell.

Cell finally found Ferd and Gorge.

"What are you guy's doing?" Gorge looked up and had a huge grin plastered on his face. "You know the prank! We're releasing a troll!"

"But that could kill Gohan, Goku, and Vegeta!" Ferd smiled. "Well duh that's our mission! So we can kill the so called alien dudes!"

Cell frowned. "You calling aliens losers! You know I'm an alien to!" The two brothers looked at Cell strangely. "No Cell you're a human!"

Cell looked perplexed. "Is this another trick question?" Ferd looked at Cell strangely again. "It's not even a question! So how can it be a trick question?"

"Dunno! Is it still a trick question?" The two rainbow haired brothers slapped themselves. "You know Cell why don't you help us by moving to that spot over there?" Ferd pointed to corner a yard away. "Sure!"

Cell skipped merrily to the corner. Ferd mumbled to Gorge. "Does that dude have problems?" "Dunno"

Gorge and Ferd released the troll.

Cell suddenly realize what would happen if the troll got near Vegeta, Gohan, and Goku. So he ran after it. /There's no way those three are going to die! /Cell thought. Cell desperately tried to keep up. He knew that their lives could count on him. /But how can a first year like me help two sixth and one fifth year? /

Vegeta, Goku, Gohan do not have all their sayin powers. So they are only slightly stronger than all the students of their year.


	11. Bickering, poop, zippers, and the troll

Sorry for not updating for a loooooong time. I broke a rule (don't know how) and was able to update for 5 days. And yes I had another sleepover (how many times have I had those? 4?) Oh well. The most important part is I updated. Enjoy (or don't)

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or Harry Potter.

"Watch it Herman! You almost stepped on my foot!"

"Sorry!" Herman scowled.

Herman saw Cell running as well. "Cell over here! Why are you running?!"

"This is coming from the King of Wisdom!" Ronny growled.

"Ronny why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you! It's that you're a know-it-all!" Ronny said.

Herman looked slightly offended but kept quiet.

Cell ran towards them fast. "There's a troll that Ferd and Gorge sent to kill EVT!"

"EVT?" Both Ronny and Herman said at once. Cell noticed the confused looks on Herman and Ronny's faces and was ready to tell them the whole story short.

"EVT means Evil Sayin Trio. The trio is made up of Gohan, Goku, and Vegeta. Veggie is the so-called prince of Sayins. He says they are an alien race that looks just like humans! Ferd and Gorge want to get back at them for all the things they did" Cell motioned the two to stop running.

"I doubt it!" Ronny said with a little smirk on her face.

"You don't believe that they're trying to kill the trio!" Cell heaved a sigh of relief.

"No! I doubt that they are aliens!"

Herman replied to what Ronny had said. "They might be aliens you never know. I've read up of Sayins. Very little is known about them."

Ronny chuckled. "Oh come on you actually believe them!"

Herman frowned at Ronny and found nothing amusing. "I'm just saying there's a possibility!"

"Guys come on, stop bickering and let's try to prevent the trio from dying!" Cell yelled angrily.

Herman and Ronny gasped. "What did I say something?" Cell asked.

"You said bickering Cell! I never knew you could make your language so advanced considering your unintelligent. Well bickering isn't an sophisticated word but for you it is!"

Cell yelled, "Hey just because I don't know how to read, spell correctly, or add doesn't mean that I am stupid! What does sophisticated mean anyway?"

Ronny whispered to Herman. "Actually not knowing all that does make him stupid"

Cell pointed his finger accusingly at Ronny. "I heard that!" The two started arguing pointing fingers at each other not making much sense.

"Now it's you twos turn to be quiet!"

"Sorry!" Ronny and Cell said.

Cell said, "Let's go on!" The trio kept sprinting trying to catch up to the troll. They had wasted a lot of valuable time while fighting and they had to regain it.

Deep in the untold depth of the Boys bathroom...

"Hurry up you fool I have to twinkle!" Vegeta was impatiently tapping his foot in the ground.

"So do I Goku!" Gohan said. Gohan was sweating from the amount of time waiting.

"Hold on you guys! It hasn't got out! It's so hard to!" Goku yelled. Goku had been on the toilet for over an hour.

"I'm!

late for class Goku! Hurry up!" Gohan yelled slightly angry. (Wow he's only slightly angry

"Get out!!!!! Get out!!!" Goku yelled. Gohan and Vegeta both just sweat dropped

"Push it! HARDER!!! HARDER!!"

Gohan whispered to Vegeta. "Okay now this is just disturbing to hear!" Vegeta just nodded in agreement.

"Faster! No not that fast! Slow-motion!"

"It's to big and hard it can't get out of my butt! Vegeta or Gohan can you help me?"

"NO!" They both yelled in union. They didn't want to get scarred for the rest of their lives! /Okay I think I might have to outside and pee! / Gohan thought.

"Never mind it's about to get out!" Gohan and Vegeta sighed in relief.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Goku screamed.

"THAT HURT SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS TO BIG FOR MY BUTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BUT FEELS TWICE AS BIG NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BUTT"S BURNING SO BAD!!!!!!!!!!!"

Goku kept screaming and then finally stopped. "Okay you can use it now"

Gohan ran to the door but then Goku said something. "Hold on I have to get my zipper up and flush the toilet!"

"Oh great!" Gohan said.

"Okay zipper! Time to get pulled up!" Goku said. Goku tried to pull up his zipper but it was stuck. He kept trying to pull it up harder!

"EVIL ZIPPER!!" Goku pulled on it desperately but it up but it wouldn't go up!

"That's it zipper you will face your doom! Zipperus upus!" Goku said and motioned his wand around the zipper. The zipper went up quickly but caught his penis!

"OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! MY THING-A-LING GO STUCK ON THE ZIPPER!!!!!!!"

Vegeta just laughed and fell on the ground pounding it, while Gohan fell anime style.

Goku started rubbing his thing-a-ling. "Hey guys is my thing-ling supposed to be purple?" Gohan screamed and probably was scarred for the rest of his life. Vegeta just kept laughing.

"Oh well!" Goku said and proceeded to flush the toilet. "Hey guys!"

"What now?" Vegeta and Gohan said a little annoyed by Goku's foolish antics.

"Well the toilet is stuck! My crap is to big!" The odor started coming towards the two.

Gohan and Vegeta's face turned purple and they wanted to vomit. They heard multiple flushed but the toilet was stuck. "Hey guys your going to have to pee outside this toilet is stuck!"

"But I have to poo!" Vegeta yelled.

Goku shrugged and said, "Guess you have to poo outside!"

Vegeta was ready to explode with rage but the toilet exploded first and water started flooding the bathroom!

"Oh crap!" Gohan yelled. They then heard a loud trembling noise. "What's that?!!!" They all yelled.

Back to Cell

"There he is! He's entering the Boy's bathroom!" Cell yelled and pointed at the large troll. It had green skin with an ugly face and was amazingly tall. This frightened Cell but he didn't show it. He ran towards it with Ronny and Herman looking for EVT the whole time.

"Hey Herman! Carrot, Gohan, and Veggie are there!"

Vegeta was snarling at the troll. "I'll send you to the next dimension you ugly piece of crap!"

Herman yelled at Vegeta. "Vegeta! Or Veggie whatever your name is. Don't taunt the troll! It will get even more angry!" Vegeta ignored her.

"Why should I listen to a little first year like you!"

Gohan said, "He's right you know!"

The troll yelled in anger and knocked in everyone's wands out of their hand!

"OH NO!!!!!!!!!!" Cell yelled.

Sorry for the real short chapter! It will get slightly longer later!


End file.
